A 28-year old Pasir Ris woman who decided to sunbathe nude at Changi Beach has received a laceration to her vagina after she was bitten by a crab. A marine biologist who commented on the case claims that the crab, likely to have been a horn-eyed ghost crab, may have confused the woman’s genitals with an oyster, part of their natural diet.
The girls told reporters that they were worried that the crab's pincers could have contained poison, so they took turns to suck out the venom from the wound. "We weren't sure if that type of crab is poisonous, but just to be on the safe side we thought we'd better clean the wound."
See that's when I was pretty sure this was some sort of alternative fact.