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Member Since 18 Dec 2005
Offline Last Active 21 Apr 2017 12:39

Topics I've Started

Bi Bak Bong Tuk A Luk Doing Sokh

11 January 2017 - 02:32

I'm off to Cambodia where the language is like a high pitched bouncy ball being punctured by a tyre iron.  No less bouncy are the big titted whores with much fuller shapes and grander ideals that in my scheme of things, will suit me just fine, thankee much so.  One helluva trip report about to follow, because my friends - I'm speaking that language of love Khmer now like I was born to it - it's fully 'clicked' and ready to lock and load.

Sprinting Through The Sois

07 January 2017 - 13:30

So there I was pumping her hard, and my cock is like two coke cans stacked on each other. But I can't seem to get any leverage – so as I put it to her puckered arsehole and finally I'm getting some action, but as it cruelly turns out since we've both been on the peeve for three days, grabbing the occasional som tam or tom yum koong or even rad na, it's like her arse is full of grinding chip shop vinegar spiced with prik naam. In pain my fist flails out and with those sovvies on it – it kind of caught and shattered the glass fire alarm panel, but I didn't notice because I was trying to blow my load. Anyhow like I said I kept pumping and it was coming close god damn it! When someone knocked the door down with an axe and the authorities came charging in. . . Part 2 to follow. . .

2016 You're Fired! Step Up 2017

28 December 2016 - 09:01

It's that time of year again, will we put 2016 to bed with some nighty time soft blankets and soothe her brow?  Then will we snuggle under the blankets with her and whisper sweet nothings?  Or do we cast her out on the street for the lying whore she is?  I'll leave that up to you...

Thai TV was generally quite disappointingly bad this year.  There were some prolonged blackouts, followed by black and white broadcasts.  The virus even appeared to affect most Thai websites. I suspect Russian cyber hackers, because the NEWS told me so.  

Whilst we are on the subject, there is a monkey in a tree that is watching the news, and the most important thing is to watch his little face in high res - the twitter of his smirk, the roll of the eyes, the truth lies in his every facial expression.  Mind he is up in a very high tree and when the monkey is peering down the NEWS pipe we must accept all of this without question (don't shake the tree) - or do we?

I wouldn't want to get too sentimental, but the death of Bowie was a major blow.  

On the positive side - help me out! Okay I know science marched on relentlessly and there were several promising things there, otherwise nowt!  Of course there is always Chermarn Boonyasak, or Laila.  I've always got time for Chef McDang as well with the McDang show continuing to go gangbusters.  It's a very slim chance but mukbang might even catch on here, though I suppose it might be called gin taai tot.  Would love to see it here in the land of the sap bpa rot.

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Missing Stickman, we really need a decent wrap up of the nightlife situation - this post is already getting pretty long, so I'll add one in a bit, but if any enterprising fellow, especially the Stickmeister himself might wish to comment it would be highly appreciated!

All my predictions for 2016 came true!  Trump president, coup in Turkey, oil price dropping to $20 a barrel, etc.  Meanwhile other predictions became more solid, China devaluing it's currency for instance - but wait!  Predictions will follow.

So please advise, comments please are always appreciated - I'm in deep water here, but I've been modelling fairly good models out to 5 years now for a while, lol I've got quite a few cloud servers churning as I type (always good to outsource your problems), so I'll post an advisory on what will be in 2017, and most likely what will be 2022 shortly.

Tuk-Tuk Driver Rapes Australian Woman

13 December 2016 - 06:58

This was on one of the morning shows.  Found a link here:  http://www.bangkokpo...ustralian-woman

The police have CCTV footage of the women prior to the attack.  She is seen with a friend walking very unsteady down the Khao San Road.  At one point she braced herself for an imminent fall against a noodle street cart and was seen to be thwarting her lady friends attempts to help her.  She had clearly had to much to drink and should have been taken safely home to where her lodgings were.  

It's unclear whether her friend abandoned her to the Tuk-tuk jackals, who then  saw fit to take her to a 'nail' house where she was repeatedly abused.  Police are hunting down the perps, but it appears they've gone to ground like the very vermin they are.  

An emotional old local woman made a heart felt plea to the general public, to 'skin these scum alive'.  [I wouldn't wish to get on her bad side]

10 Years Of Learning Thai

05 December 2016 - 11:46

If you want to become truly expert at something, give it about 10 years.  Well I've reached that milestone with Thai, and looking back, there are some lessons learnt, so listen up grasshoppers, and even you Thai gurus might learn something as well, so listen up yo'.  

1.  If your Teerak is speaking in a  lingo you can't understand, it's either colloquial, a dialect or a different language (or you're tone deaf LOL).  Given your 10 year deadline, just go ahead and learn that as well.  I started trying to learn one language, but I ended up learning most South East Asian languages as well.  Something I never planned from the outset. However I don't regret it.  Your approach may vary of course.  

2.  Become a scholar of the culture.  And I'm not talking about one of those coffee table picture books about temples.  Find several good books about different aspects of Thai culture and history and read them.  Don't rely on internet posters like me, because to be honest, I'm far from reliable.  I won't provide a list because some of them are most likely banned in Thailand, better safe than sorry!  Nod, wink.  

3.  Talk from day one.  I am a very sensitive kind of person - a common remark on my school report cards was how sensitive I was.  LOL I still mind my Dad reading out a line from one of them, 'displays an amazing and encyclopedic knowledge and understanding of space and the solar system, something the class never studied, but really is far too sensitve'.  
So being a sensitive person I put off talking, afraid of making a prat of myself.  But really, that was being far too considerate.  When you are in Thailand, always speak Thai first.  The only exceptions are when talking Thai will actually make you a prat, like ordering for everyone at the table to a Burmese waitress who knows less Thai than you do.  Also, unless you explain that you want to try out your Thai first, it can belittle staff, like at a hotel reception for example, whom are employed for their skill in understanding English.  

4.  Thai Tv is both your friend and enemy.  You will find great joy here.  It's where I learnt how to explain an affair as 'sometimes a man wants to eat a spicy takeaway, when the fare going at home is tasty...'.  If you use this line, though - I wish you all the luck in the world.  Better to have a go-between say it and come in on a wing and a prayer.  

5.  When you talk Thai be yourself.  I like to joke around, but sometimes it gets me in hot water.  Checking into a back country resort after a long motorbike ride, I might hit on the ageing Grandmother at the till for instance.  Everyone laughs, and more than once I've got the Grand Daughter visiting me late at night to say hello to that nice young Farang!   Jing, jing, lol.  

6.  More like a addendum to 3, but there are situations where it pays to just be a dumb Farang and mimic one who is only just learning.  This list is not extensive, but you should do this when speaking to policeman, or most people in authority for example.  Why?  It's simple, trying to extort money from a water buffalo takes an enormous amount of skill for a Thai person, and potentially humiliating.  Do NOT relegate yourself  to such a foolish position.  Also try not to speak Thai within earshot of other Farang also, owing to my 'sensitivity'.  It attracts (unwanted) attention, and questions like where did you learn?  The length of this post shows how I can choose to be abrupt, wrong, or just downright rude.  Or if I'm in the mood and you buy me several drinks, then and only then will I 'fess up.  

7.  Well there's plenty more, so there is going to have to be a Part 2.  In the meantime, appreciate your comments, and how your efforts to master this mind boggling language are really going.  And if you're just starting out - mind this, it might take 10 years, but it's a hell of a lot of fun in the meantime!!!  And if you make it so, so will it be - least that's how it rolls in my experience. Good luck!