BG Disaster - my turn

[think_too_mut]

Well, it happened to me.

 

After 18 months of (remote) relationship and 10 visits, it all went down the drains.

 

Along the way, it all looked well. The bg I took from the bar and sent to school was doing all the things one would expect from a potentially good girl.

 

This time, during the school break, she wanted to come for a holiday to my country. In support to her visa application, she needed more than a passbook. A proof that she has held an account for a while with some flow through it.

 

That's where it started. We went to her bank and requested a statement for the last 6 months.

 

What I found in the printout were considerable money withdrawals from her own savings that couldn't be related to any need known to me, whatsoever. And some deposits from abroad. Even with that, she was 80K down from where she had been 10 months ago.

 

When I interpreted what the report was saying, she shrugged and said that she had given her account number to some people in the past and she did not know who, when and why was sending the money. After a bit of cornering, she admitted where the money went:

 

bought land for her mother (50k)

built a house for her sister (150k)

bought land for her brother(40k)

 

By living on 30-100 bahts a day, the money was systematically siphoned from me to her family, but still, tangible purchases. (I wish I had her on my side).

 

Then, the bad things followed:

 

She played cards and lost 60K bahts over several months.

She had sex with returning ex-customers, for money, on several occasions. No further soliciting, just 2 people she had known. There were no emails to/from them.

 

After having figured out that the (to me unknown) money was coming from my country and that there was a number in her mobile bill (SMS ) she admitted there is my countryman who sends her money every 6-7 weeks. He is much older than me. Over the phone, we exchanged our stories. She had lied to him too.

 

Now, she is saying I should go my own way and leave her alone, or, when the money line is reinstated I may call/email her. I'm not in any rush at all.

 

One ingredient is still missing (one week to go) to complete the disaster: pregnancy.

 

I could have had the happiest 3 weeks of my life had I not read anything off this board. That made me sniff around and - I found what I did not want to find.

[Guest lazyphil]

I'm sorry to hear this news T_T_M.

 

 

[JJsushi]

Sorry to hear about your situation. I honestly have no advice for you concerning your situation and I seriously doubt that you want any. You seem to be a person that has a clear idea of what your options are and how to best proceed.

 

I hope this thread does not turn into a circus with naysayers and the "I told you so crowd".

You were trying and you did make a difference in someone's life. There was good and bad and hopefully you received some good from the experience.

 

 

 

Regards,

JJSUSHI

[gobbledonk]

TTM,

 

This is a sad postscript to your recent post, where it seemed that things were back on track. Its also a warning for us all.

[thalenoi]

TTM,

 

What can I say? It's very sad and you scare the hell out of me. As you now I am with an ex-bg myself and I always wonder what will come between us to kill our relationship.

 

I checked her bank account from the moment we were getting serious, nothing abnormal there.

We live 460km from Bangkok, far from temptation. Anyway she is not the outgoing type of person, she is a loner, does not make friends here around Chumpon.

 

If you followed my story you will now she withdrew 30k baht from her account (my money) and sent it to her parents as a first downpayment for buying land (150k for a rice field, isn't that much?)

 

I am in farangland for an other 27 days, yesterday she asked permission to go a discotheque in town. They are celebrating the return of a farang friend at whoms place she was sleeping since I left. One one hand I am surprised she asks permission, on the other hand I don't like the idea discotheque visits might repeat themselves.

 

There is no way I would accept a situation similar to what you count here. ::

All my sympathy to you.

[MaiDai]

I am really sorry TTM.

I remember that when I first posted my problems with my now ex-bg you had a thread going about how things were going fine with your girlfriend.

 

I did envy you. Why could I not be so lucky too? Now I realize that maybe it was only because I had managed to steal her password and to know the truth before you ( no, I am not a hacker or a computer genius... her password was thailand)

 

?I could have had the happiest 3 weeks of my life had I not read anything off this board. That made me sniff around and - I found what I did not want to find.?

 

Yes I do understand what you mean. For example, threads like ?Buying out the Girl "Forever" from the Bar? are like an arrow straight in the heart. Of course I had been asked the infamous 10.000 baht too.

 

All my sympathy to you too.

 

[kamui]

Your sad story makes me very thoughtful.

 

I am just starting a story with a BG [as you know - thread: surprise - myBG does not want my money] and I am wondering how to follow the thin line between trusting and being very cautious. It´s a difficult way I wouldn´t (needn´t to) go with a girl in my country.

I already had somebody to take a look on her. Her story she told me seems to be right, she just started to work as BG this summer, but you never know about the influence of BG scene. It seems that I am her first Farang "relationship", but for how long? When will other Farang enter this field?

 

I presume that there is no security at all, especially when "love" is mixed with money in that very special way. I can have the hope that she is the right one but must bear in mind to be hurt emotionally and financially, eventually.

 

[think_too_mut]

>One one hand I am surprised she asks permission, on the other hand I don't like the idea discotheque visits might repeat themselves.

 

Yeah, my gf was telling me at least 10 days in advance if she wanted to go out. It happened 4 times since January. She would tell me what time she'll be back and send me a mail from her PC. Always before midnight.

 

All worked well except when she ... did not ask. My random calls to her land line were always answered, except one. Then, her mobile was called. At that moment she was (now I know) in bed with a man, telling me she was at her girlfriend's place. I asked to talk to her gf but gf was not there.

That moment I told her it was over and hung up. 10 seconds later she rang me back, putting me through to her gf who was "just back from the shop". Felt like true at that time. Now I know she ran wrapped in towel through the corridor and got first room maid to talk to me in Thai.

 

Other circumstances unchanged, I would think that my gf, if she was in Chumpon, would not do or would not have an opportunity to do anything else other than family related things (as if that is not enough).

 

One wise man told me 2 weeks ago : in Thailand, you don't marry a girl. You marry the entire family and you never know what are you getting into.

 

>There is no way I would accept a situation similar to what you count here.

All my sympathy to you.

 

Thalenoi, my life was like one of Robinson Crusoe before he spotted the first foot print on his island. Nothing stays the same after that.

 

Thanks for your sympathy.

 

BTW, she's been spraying me with SMS messages whole day.

 

Little bitch, knows how fanatic I am about education, she sent one right now, 10 minutes before the exam she is sitting in for. Could not ignore it, wished her good luck.

 

[think_too_mut]

>... I had managed to steal her password and to know the truth before you ( no, I am not a hacker or a computer genius... her password was thailand)

 

I have known her password since day 1. But, she had another account that was caught only when a piece of software was installed on her (my) computer that sends me an email every 12 hours about all the keys pressed. She stopped using it 6 months ago.

Just spend 2 hours on the phone with my countryman, her customer. He confirmed that all of a sudden she stopped emailing him 6 months ago.

But SMS was there and she chucked away all the bills except the last one that I picked from the mail box.

 

[think_too_mut]

>I can have the hope that she is the right one but must bear in mind to be hurt emotionally and financially, eventually.

 

Sorry, if it comes to that, your preparedness is not going to make your suffering any easier.

Wish you good luck, some people struck the gold.