Guest Posted August 19, 2002 Report Share Posted August 19, 2002 It is all about you had gave her HOPE.Those promises that keep her believe that you and her would make it work.A better life that fullfill by someone that caring enough to get her out of the bar. You had ruined it all. Poor her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted August 19, 2002 Report Share Posted August 19, 2002 TTM, I try not to get too much into discussions here in the hope to keep an overview, but I need to put in my 2 satangs now. I did read your previous thread and I know you care enough to take her out and set her up with a regular life, so dont throw it all away like you tried to do....... Talk hours to her, regain her trust, and go for it. She must really be in a very fragile state of mind, try to get yourself into her position, she does rely on you, so it is your honor to do the utmost to make it work. Right ? Enough said and let us know how it ends ! Cheers ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
check_bin_krap Posted August 19, 2002 Report Share Posted August 19, 2002 Very good advice BB. Ex BG or GTG or whatever, in a long distance realtionship with love involved it is bound to be insecurities and misunderstandings! I have lost count of all the fights I have had my fiance over things that are small things for me. Try to be the stronger one and put in an effort to fix it. You obviously love her enough to start this thing. Cheers and good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted August 20, 2002 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2002 007> It is all about you had gave her HOPE.Those promises that keep her believe that you and her would make it work.A better life that fullfill by someone that caring enough to get her out of the bar. You had ruined it all. Poor her. What you said is my worst fear. I'm trying to work out some solution, need 6-8 more weeks to reach next milestone. Talked with her for hours yesterday, appeared she had regained her confidence that I am sticking around. She believed (or wanted me to believe she did) her school life goes on. I must have proved my intentions somehow. Took me a while to get out of that bog I got myself into 5 days ago. But, really, for 2 days it looked like I'll never go to LOS again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted August 20, 2002 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2002 BB>Talk hours to her, regain her trust, and go for it. BB>She must really be in a very fragile state of mind, try to get yourself into her position, she does rely on you, so it is your honor to do the utmost to make it work. BelgianBoy, Without reading your reply, I did exactly what you said and she is much beter today. She has not dropped the tools, does loads of her homework with almost the same level of enthusiasm she used to put in before. I sent you a PM with more details. You might have been through the very same grief youself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted August 20, 2002 Author Report Share Posted August 20, 2002 >Stop it soon as possible. Sorry, even if I wanted to stop it now, I would not know how. Well, a brutal chop-off can always be done but I can't do it without any reason from her side. Maybe I don't think forward here, what sort of troubles can you warn me about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted August 20, 2002 Report Share Posted August 20, 2002 BelgianBoy, Without reading your reply, I did exactly what you said and she is much beter today. She has not dropped the tools, does loads of her homework with almost the same level of enthusiasm she used to put in before. I sent you a PM with more details. You might have been through the very same grief youself. TTM, Well, I can only hope that things will work out for you the way you would like it. I dont think you should call this grief, maybe prelude to happiness is better. Get yourself organised and get as soon as possible to LOS ! Cheers ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thalenoi Posted August 26, 2002 Report Share Posted August 26, 2002 TTM, Can't you REALLY jump in a plane and get to LOS? I had a similar problem 14 years ago (a lady I took care of disappeared to Salamanca in Spain, I had to find a solution at work (had to give training at a customer site) to disappear for some days to drive there and come back. It was a crazy move, but it helped. I talked with my gf here on financial issues and made the mistake to tell her if I did not have enough money to live with her in Thailand I would give her a monthly allowance until I would die and maybe beyond. That pissed her off I asure you I had a hard time to reverse that sentence. How is this going now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted August 26, 2002 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2002 Thalenoi, Thanks for nudging the post back...I was in doubt should I do that myself. It's not possible to go to LOS right now, but the new ticket is for the last week of September. The girl is more than happy. Yesterday, she told me again how bad she felt. She even admitted she had contacted that guy (she does not know her attempt was unsuccessful). You're right, I was not aware of how much harm things like "you never lose my support" may inflict on her. Just lightly, I touched on why didn't she think of going back home? No, until she finishes her high school. Can't resist, have to describe a scene from yesterday's afternoon: she was changing toner cartridges on her printer, pointed the cam in that direction. 4 cartridges that have to slot in under the right angle and sit onto the spikes. Upon installation, it took me 15 minutes to get it right. She did it with no difficulties and printed test pages. Almost like a child that figures out how to break some security system that adults had invented to keep them away. Two of her friends sitting around dropped their jaws when she opened the guts of the machine. Not bad for an ex-bg: this time last year all she knew about the printers was to name them - "plint". Generally, she has regained her turf and is close to her best shape. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThaiHome Posted August 26, 2002 Report Share Posted August 26, 2002 Very glad to hear things are returning to normal. You have been reminded (again, I'm sure) on the pass/fail test that seem to come up at the most unexpected times. Luckily for us, the fail does not have to permanent, unless we choose so make so. Have you ever wondered how our wives/GF can deal with the insecurity (from their perspective) of their situations? TH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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