Cricket

[Coss]

As one who has never followed Cricket, except when the Fa'afafine play in the various Polynesian festivals in Auckland, I feel bound to comment on NZ's recent involvement in the Cricket World Cup.

 

I've always thought that NZ cricket was for the effete, and back in the day, when Marketing Geniuses decided to give everyone in the NZ cricket team a wanky nickname, my suspicions became more grounded.

 

For those that do not understand cricket, simply put, there are many things that can affect the outcome of the game that have no bearing on the skill of the players involved. Weather, can shorten the game. One captain can decide to stop playing, allowing the other team to win. And so on.

 

But this Cricket World Cup was a one day match affair, in which opposing teams had 50 (I think) overs (6 balls bowled to a batsman) each to get as many runs as possible to garner a win.

 

Now NZ has traditionally not won much, occasionally having a good day, wherein the local media perk up a bit, before the next loss.

 

So when NZ started winning in this Cricket World Cup, the media not only woke up, but started paying attention, and when NZ wound up facing Australia in the final, the press in NZ were ecstatic.

 

The prematch coverage by the NZ media was heightened to such an effusive level, you could be forgiven for thinking that the journalists (I use this term mockingly) had been given lifetime, free memberships, to the local, beer and happy ending, massage parlour.

 

Needless to say, NZ lost.

 

And to confirm my understanding of the effete nature of this 'Cricket' undertaking, herein some observations.

 

1/. When South Africa were beaten, the hirsute, masculine, athletic South African team, to a man, dropped to the ground, collapsing like 12 year old girls, most were in tears. An emotional moment for sure, but men?

 

2/. Cricket is supposed to have a behaviour code that allows participants to be viewed as Gentlemen, herein the phrase of something 'not being Cricket'. Most teams, but evidenced by the Aussies and South Africans as exemplars of the 'Sledge' which is a code word for verbal abuse. Really vile abuse on the field, completely infantile and contrary to the 'Gentlemanly' aura the sport cultivates. Even in winning, as the players walked off the field, Aussie players were seen to be delivering abuse to the losers, one abuser being restrained by his team mates.

 

There you go, rant over, I'll be quiet now until NZ nearly win in a decade or two...

[Coss]

 

 

Sledging a batsman as he leaves the field.

 

If Cricket were Cricket, then I'd probably be a fan.

[bust]

Shane Warne "Why are you so fat?"

 

Mike Gatting "Because every time I have sex with your missus she gives me a bickie"

[Dumsoda]

We don't like cricket.....WE LOVE IT.....Oi Oi Oi

[Coss]

Ahh yes, you need some small victories, for Aus to beat a NZ Cricket team, well it's not hard is it, bit like beating the Easter Island Cricket team.

 

:beer:

[bust]

The problem the Kiwi's had is they a used to playing on grounds the size of sheep pens.

MCG was a real cricket ground.

[Coss]

Give us another 15 years or so, we'll nearly win again