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Thai family unit


khunsanuk

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The following article was originally posted on our message board by Baht_Man. Thanks go to him for writing it and allowing us to use it here.

 

It's amazing how much you can learn from a Thai GF by just sitting, listening and encouraging openness with a Blackso or two. I had one such experience last night and felt it was worth a post just to underline the importance of the Thai family unit as the bedrock of any Thai GF whether she be a BG or a GTG - though I admit that I am not familiar with the later. My experience is with a BG.

 

I have read on both Stickman's site and this board many genuine posters who explain, rightly so, how important the Thai family unit is, whether that be their immediate family or the newly found family she makes when she takes the long trip from agricultural life in Issan to the bright lights and shiny poles of BKK. I only hope to reinforce it again having been persuaded to do so by my GF.

 

Most BG's I have met and my current GF generally tend to have friends in the business when they arrive whether they be school friends from their village or friends of a friend. Where her friends work will dictate whether she gets to wear a posh frock down Soi 33 or next to nothing at NP.

 

What also stands out is that, nine times out of ten, when the sweet Issan lady arrives in BKK she will have a surrogate family ready and willing to share "family" time together. To get each other through the ups and downs and naturally (one would be foolish to forget this) to teach the youngling the tricks of the trade.

 

It is this family togetherness that I for one have never really concerned myself about. Yes, my family did many things together but when you reached the age of 16 or 18 it was expected that you could stand on your own two feet, get a job, go to university whatever, but more commonly that you could get along alone, make your own way in life. IMO and from my observations and from reading and listening to others many BG's can't do it alone.

 

For sure when they have to go with a customer they do it alone. It's a bloody step learning curve and one that they have to tune into quickly in order to reap the benefits of a short and in many respects profitable profession whose entry requirements are a far cry from the A and two B's that many 18 year olds hold out for in Farangland.

 

But to get back to the togetherness - the family unit. It is a fact that Thai's (and again I stress that I have only had relationships with girls from Issan and witnessed at first hand the family/village mentality) live eat and sleep together. The family unit is there 24/7. If a family member falls sick then all the troops rally round, if little sister Noi locks herself out of the house then she always knows where she can go for security.

 

BG's have an inbuilt reliance and it's not only a reliance on money (A factor great or small depending on how fortunate a falang you are) but a reliance on security, togetherness, care and guidance - put simply the FAMILY. So, when your tilac leaves the bar and comes back to Farangland or where ever, she enters not only a new chapter in her life but an environment, which I can only describe as lonely. She may not tell you so but I would bet my bottom dollar that it crosses her mind more than once or twice.

 

Even when I visited my GF's flat for the first time in BKK I was ignorant to the fact that here we had 4 nubile young ladies sleeping together. Yes, the obvious perverted thought ran through my mind but it is only now that I understand the importance of that togetherness an extension of the family unit - a BG's comfort zone.

 

IMO I could never take my GF back to Farangland for me it's not fair and my GF agrees. I am fortunate to live in Asia and I think a 3 hour plane journey is sufficiently far enough for a Thai GF to still consider home close enough and reachable if things aren't so rosy. This may be different for an educated Thai GF (I am sure Jasmine can vouch for that) but my observation is taken from that of a poorly educated GF.

 

So, your GF is out of the bar scene, you are man and wife (lets say married for 3 months), your both happy (or should be) and ready to take on your new chapter in life. You get up in the morning. Whilst you shower she prepares breakfast. You go to work, she washes irons and generally does all the things a single male generally finds a chore. It 6pm she knows that your work should be finished, she is excited about your return... there are now two scenarios.

 

The first is that you return from work the ultimate piece in the two-piece family unit jigsaw. Her delight is evident as her new family is as one. No problems, however, what about scenario number two?

 

You don't come home from work, granted you phone her and tell her that you are having a few drinks after work but she has no one. Sure she could pick up the phone and talk to mum but it's not the same. There are no welcoming smiles, no general chit chat about the days affairs, no younger sister or niece to hold and cuddle. She is alone. Her unit is incomplete. Unlike back in Issan or in the cramped flat somewhere off New Petchburi Road she has only one other family unit member to draw from and that is her man.

 

This family unit, IMO, is paramount to a Thai BG. I hope in my relationship a unit is slowly but surely being built up, however, the unit we are building would never equate to that of a Thai's until such times as siblings arrive... and that's a long way away but we do our best to build up an illusion of a "Family Unit" and it works for us.

 

My GF explained, in great detail, some of the horror stories of her friends who went back to Farangland with their man. For many visitors to BKK it's a holiday, you do many, many things that you do not have the opportunity to do in your own restricted Kingdom and at a fraction of the price. Life for two weeks or whatever is the ultimate party but if one wishes to fulfill that party within the same equilibrium of what you are used to back home then give it some thought.

 

My GF is lucky. She has close Thai friends in our neighbourhood which, she admits, only a few she would choose as real friends whilst the others are maybe not so honest and are more delighted to be in a position to milk a so called husband. For sure, my GF has made a decision about whom she wants to adopt as her next surrogate family. For me, I hope, their guidance and advice to my GF will not be tainted, as I am well aware that second opinions are commonly sought regarding relationships and other domestic affairs.

 

Sorry for the length of the post but I do think there is a moral to it all. A simple equation:

 

Thai GF/Falang x Family Unit = SUCCESS.

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