MaakSiDa Posted October 26, 2004 Report Share Posted October 26, 2004 I had a one-year relationship with a non-bar Thai girl until recently. We separated one week ago. I was thinking, that the wounds what heal overtime and the two of us at least talk about it, eventually remaining friends. I still love her, and she says 'that she still loves me', so I would like to meet her anywhere just to discuss what went wrong, but she only keeps telling me 'I come to see you tomorrow', or 'I am on the bus', etc. (She currently stays with her parents in another town about 35 kms. away.) So, basically she is lying to me all the time on the phone and doesn't want to see me... One reason could be, that I complained the other day about her childish behaviour; I screamed at her because I was really upset about some things, but I didn't hit her or something... (She was scared of me, though.) Or is it because her mother doesn't like me? I suspect, that she's found somebody else. But why can't she tell me? If she doesn't love me anymore, why does she have to lie, telling me 'I come later'; 'I am sick' (I know, that she wasn't then)... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khwaimaisabai Posted October 26, 2004 Report Share Posted October 26, 2004 MaakSiDa said: But why can't she tell me? Hi msd, Sorry about that. Maybe she is just keeping her options open - for a while at least. Just my guess. Khwai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattaya127 Posted October 26, 2004 Report Share Posted October 26, 2004 If she doesn't love me anymore, why does she have to lie, telling me 'I come later'; 'I am sick' (I know, that she wasn't then)... ------------------- thaigirl 101. Be a big man, don't beat your head against the wall and let her do it her way. She might come around, don't turn her off by pestering her with whys and buts. And at this juncture, don't confront her with her lies. Even in the States, it was counter-productive for me. If you are in Thailand, go out, have some fun, turn your phone off for a while. that can do marvels. If not, better things await you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaakSiDa Posted October 26, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 26, 2004 Even in the States, it was counter-productive for me. If you are in Thailand, go out, have some fun, turn your phone off for a while... That's the problem, as she doesn't call me anymore! (I call her.) Also, I'll restart my work as a teacher next week. And with these worries/broken heart I won't be able to do good work... (I feel very sick, sleep hardly three hours per night and hardly ate anything for one week.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 26, 2004 Report Share Posted October 26, 2004 This is really just a general ?IMHO? here as I don?t really know either of you and have limited experience in this area? I feel you should give her time if she?s worth that much to you and it appears she is. Don?t continually pester her as P127 has said as well. That doesn?t work for any woman, anywhere in the world and odds are will drive her away even more Not knowing how well she speaks English or how well you speak Thai it?s hard to say if simple communication is a problem as well. Maybe she?s not sure how to express what she?s feeling at this point and keeps dodging the questions to avoid possible embarrassment. Of course there?s the face issue as well. You mentioned yelling at her? Now I?m no expert here but believe any display like you?ve mention could lead to problems and a possible loss of face on your part. I?m sure that?s not insurmountable, but raising ones voice in anger does not sit well in Thai society apparently & shows a kind of weakness. Again this only what I?ve heard & not personally experienced so take that for what it?s worth. At any rate that may have frustrated her and possibly keeps her from see you on your terms. Try to keep a cool head and not ?stress out? too much in the future. When you loose face by getting angry, she just gained the upper hand I?d say play it cool at this point and let her come around, have some fun if you can in the interim. Main thing is try not to stress too much about it as hard as that is to do & really give her some space to figure things out on her end. Just because she?s Thai doesn?t mean standard relationship rules don?t apply? They still do, for the most part anyway Good luck to you, Nakbin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaiLuk Posted October 26, 2004 Report Share Posted October 26, 2004 >>sleep hardly three hours per night << If you have the funds, go get yourself a different girl every night. This may seem like neanderthal type of advice. But going sleepless over a girl is the worst thing. You are lucky to have BG therapy available to take some of the edge off of the problem. Or you can lay around alone asking yourself why she lies... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaakSiDa Posted October 26, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 26, 2004 Not knowing how well she speaks English or how well you speak Thai it?s hard to say if simple communication is a problem as well. Good luck to you, Nakbin Thanks alot Nakbin! But no, her English is very good. That's not the reason. However, it's true, she may want to buy time... Last night I was close to suicide. But now I have to plan for my own single life, leaving the well-paid job that I love behind, while moving to the other end of Thailand... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaakSiDa Posted October 26, 2004 Author Report Share Posted October 26, 2004 If you have the funds, go get yourself a different girl every night. This isn't an option over here (in Hat Yai). And I still hope, that she may turn up sometime to talk with me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khwaimaisabai Posted October 26, 2004 Report Share Posted October 26, 2004 Hi msd, It has only been a week. Stay cool and please don't talk about suicide or making big decisions because of this. I find excessive drinking a good cure for insomnia. Anything could happen. Khwai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khun_Kong Posted October 26, 2004 Report Share Posted October 26, 2004 MaakSiDa said: Even in the States, it was counter-productive for me. If you are in Thailand, go out, have some fun, turn your phone off for a while... That's the problem, as she doesn't call me anymore! (I call her.) Also, I'll restart my work as a teacher next week. And with these worries/broken heart I won't be able to do good work... (I feel very sick, sleep hardly three hours per night and hardly ate anything for one week.) Don't call her- give her the space. Go the opposite way on how it affects your life- Focus on your job, that you still love, and save your "...I won't be able to do good work..." for worrying about the relationship, i.e., don't put any effort into worry. I know, easier said than done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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