think_too_mut Posted May 20, 2003 Report Share Posted May 20, 2003 Few months ago I promissed to write about my take on doability of converting a bg into a mainstream woman. For others who are doing or contemplating the same, here is my experience and what it took. Not many details there but it took even more than what I said further down in the post. It's a bit more than 500 days, but to make numbers round, say 500. In 2001, after 8 months of knowing her, 5 visits and 228 emails from BKK, it was obvious there was a relationship forming. At that time she was doing years 7-9 of her HS, Sundays only. Expressed strong will to do more school but no way without support. The deal was: Bar out, school in, she lives alone and I support her. High School graduation was the mark in time. That just happened, end of April 2003. My plan was - as I liked her, while she's receiving her education, more than a year should be enough to bring up her strenghts and weaknesess - persistence, dedication, adherence to her word, capability to plan and carry out a systematic effort. More than a year would give more precise evidence on whether she could be a good woman or not, is she going to return to where she was after one failure. After all, if she is not compatible with me, her education stays with her forever and I feel god for helping her. Other perks along the way a bonus. That was end of November 2001. AUA was enrolling students about then, she passed the test and was oferred a seat in level 5 course. Scared, she insisted she goes from level 1. She found an apartment at a convenient location near Ekkamai bus terminal. That place has turned into my BKK home. Her school started on 5th of Jan 2002. In parallel, she enrolled other courses, the day was like running from one school to another. 500 days later, the pile of certificates shows: High School certificate AUA English levels 1 to 8, each course about 6 weeks Accounting (180 hours, accepted as a credit exam with HS) Computers (Win, MS Word, Excel, PPoint, Access, Outlook) - 4 months English Grammar, 4 weeks Typing English - 20 more weeks in different institutions as she found AUA level 9 too hard and wanted to laern more before returning there. All in all, it was: 2500 hours of teacher lead classes (thank you, English teachers n BBK, for reflecting best of your personalities on her). 1000 hours of homework, assignments, projects. 1500 hours of talking/seeing me over the web cam. During that time, I spent almost 100 days in BKK. Large numbers are showing that she was working on her goal and was receiving support and motivation for at least 10 hours every single of 500 days. 20% of the time (while I was there) it was even more than that. The price: 25K per month for: 9-12K for apartment (price varied, depending mostly on aircon usage) 5K for family 10K to live (mobile included in here). Now I know she could (and did) save 3-5K each month for other things. All her clothes had to be replaced...about 80 tops/shirts, 40 skirts/jeans, 15 pairs of shoes/sport shoes. I'm not saying the price again, most of the clothes came from Oz, surfie brands. Others may go for cheaper local stuff. I did not want to see her in tank tops or glass high heel shoes. For her studies she got a computer, printer and all the accessories. For being at home most of the time, she had a TV, DVD, stereo, karaoke. Price of all that I would not quote as they vary with brands/quality. School fees were not big, for all she did could be alltogether about 60K. Not that there were no problems over that period of time. At one ocassion she nearly reverted back to her former trade and the whole deal was near collapse. I posted here about it. Advice from this board pushed me to carry on. Picked her up, dusted her off and gave her another chance. She did not miss it. She has changed, dramatically, from where she was. Now, at any moment she tell her itinerrary 4 weeks in advance, with an hourly precission. Even if there is nothing on a particular day, when she can sleep or watch TV, she calls it "free time". Among her friends she has gained lots of face and trust. After initially deserting her, many are turning to someone who is always there, conducts normal life, stable, skilled, equipped - for advice or favour. Friday evenings, some would turn up with karaoke vcds and some food and enjoy singing along. Now, she's ready for a honest job. But... This week she is at her hometown, showing off. Next week, she's enrolling a Uni which starts 2nd of June. Measure for the uniform taken, will be ready next week. As I am likely to get work in another Asian country, other plans with her have to be delayed for about 3-4 months to allow me to settle there. PS: For those who want to know, the age difference is 13 years. (edited: feel good, not "fell good", thanks Val Donican) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted May 20, 2003 Report Share Posted May 20, 2003 Excellent work. I am proud of you for the amazing amount of dedication you have displayed in helping the young woman accomplish a positive direction in her life. You both had a goal and a strategy to attain it even through the rough points. I wish the best for the both of you. Your situation is proof that even perceived "damaged goods" are indeed very valuable merchandise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 20, 2003 Report Share Posted May 20, 2003 Good job man! I've managed to pick up a couple of gals and "dust em off" over the years and they got out of the trade. One's been "clean" for 12 years now. Works at a "uni". (5 years ago when the economy took a real tumble, she was considering going back. I chewed her ass real good and that was the end of her "thinking". Just mention it, cuz sometimes a little remedial attention might be necessary.) Another has a very responsible job as an admin assistant and has managed to get jobs for her friends back in the village. All has to do with your financial ability, mentoring, and perseverance...and, of course, the most important thing: her genuine desire to get on in a new way. Again, way to go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxal Posted May 20, 2003 Report Share Posted May 20, 2003 Congratulations TTM, I've been following all the moves you've posted regarding the ongoing pressures for you and her to keep the ball rolling. You're a man of your word. Its no wonder you haven't been on the board as often during all this time. Aside from the "showing off" part, she's definitely a woman of her word too. Then again the showing off might be pure pride, which is great- you know better. I'm amazed that you're presence was so minimal? 5 visits and only 100 days present? You sincerely care for this woman. Thanks for posting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cardinalblue Posted May 20, 2003 Report Share Posted May 20, 2003 TTM, Great job, effort and commitment on both your parts. What you have described is sponsorship in which she has taken full advantage of your gererousity. I commend her on her follow-through most because when presented with those opportunities just aren't as motivated as your girl. While you didn't describe much as to your relationship with her, I hope that is as successful as your assistance. I hope she respects, appreciates and is committed to you as you are to her. Not to put a damper on anything, but i do hope she sees you as a life-time partner if that is what you want or both of you want. Maybe that isn't or wasn't your intention going in or has changed some during the course of her makeover. I am also glad there is only 13 years difference because i don't care people say, the closer you are in age the better in general. Within 20 years is fine given that it doesn't look like a father-adopted daughter presentation. If she has the "good person" traits you believe she has, I think you are in fine shape relationship wise. But i know you are aware that some girls (doesn't matter BG or not) when they do acquire market skills, more education and general leverage in the market place, her wants and expectations might change as well. I do know more than a few cases once she realizes her value, she looks for greener pastures. I hope you put as much or even more effort into your relationship development and growth with her as you did into the re-making of her for your own good and happiness...... Cardinalblue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 20, 2003 Report Share Posted May 20, 2003 25K per month for 500 days = about 417000 baht (or US$10,000/UKS 6,000 )! TTM (sure it's not ATM?), please don't get mad: but someone has to say it... That's one damned expensive hooker you've bought yourself! And, yes, she sounds worth it, so far. But if it all turns to shit one day, and you find she's drifted back on "the game", I do hope you truly think that being able to "feel good" (you write "fell god" but I'm presuming that was a Freudian typo ?) is reward enough for your investment (of trust, as much as hard cash). Don't know if I could be that strong . You're clearly a gambling man. Good luck. I await a "5000 days later" report. (That'll be 4,170,000 baht to you, TTM. ) VD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted May 20, 2003 Author Report Share Posted May 20, 2003 >I'm amazed that you're presence was so minimal? 5 visits and only 100 days present? No, it was 5 visits before taking her out. After that, 100 days out of 500. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelgianBoy Posted May 20, 2003 Report Share Posted May 20, 2003 TTM, Having met both of you, my GF and me do wish both of you lots of luck !!!!! Cheers ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted May 20, 2003 Author Report Share Posted May 20, 2003 BB, Among others, it was actually you who made rethink my (then) decission and continue with my gf. And it eventuated in success. My intention with this contribution to your forum was - to warn people of good intentions that "Want to help her get out of the bar, sent her 3000 baht for English school" is far from minimal. It's all or nothing. Without 100% commitment, anyone thinking of taking them out of the bar better stay their customers. Finally, having met both you and your gf, we wish you all the luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spirit_of_town_hall Posted May 20, 2003 Report Share Posted May 20, 2003 You have been incredibly generous... STH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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